So a special counsel has been hired, former FBI Director Robert Mueller, to look into something about Trump — I think.

Mueller is well respected by members of Congress on both sides of the aisle and has their unwavering support — right up until he renders a conclusion different from their own theory. Then he will suck and be the worst person in Washington, and there will be calls for him to be investigated. 

This gives the Democrats a chance to impeach Trump, with no evidence, because they disagree with him on policy. It's a conspiracy theory in search of facts. Based on the left-wing media’s Trump Derangement Syndrome, we are proceeding with this investigation based on un-sourced, felonious leaks from “deep state” government employees (91 percent of Washington D.C. voted for Hillary Clinton), The Washington Post, and other media confederates. These unnamed sources supposedly gave the “journalists” information that  Trump said something that everyone who was in the room denies he said. And even if he said these things, while perhaps indelicate, they were not illegal. 

Only a week ago Sen. Chuck Grassley, ex-member of the Senate Intelligence Committee (it sounds ironic, but there is such a thing), said the FBI confirmed to him that Trump is not under investigation. Apparently, James Comey told Trump the same thing. So Trump must have committed a “high crime or misdemeanor” in the last week. 

Trump was sent to Washington to be indelicate. He harvested voters' frustrations about Washington pettiness like this. His supporters like his firing of entrenched government dolts. He also goes against the PC nothingness diplomacy of predecessors. We like that. He is a wrecking ball we sent there. And wrecking balls have balls, and they wreck things. 

Democrats’ breathless barrage of baseless accusations paints Trump as a Russian James Bond villain, "Gold Hair." They want all Republicans who have ordered a vodka-based drink in the last year to be investigated. Anyone who has ordered a Moscow Mule should be hauled before Bernie Sanders and asked to explain himself. It feels like the McCarthyism they purport to abhor. “Mr. Bannon, are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist party? Have you ever even been invited to a party where vodka was served?” 

That is the problem with socialists like Bernie Sanders and many "progressives” today. They do not care about governing since their plans have never worked. They just want to protest. Actually governing only serves to illuminate the age-old battle between socialism and its archenemy, reality. 

Democrats called for Trump to fire Obama appointee Comey, but once he did they said Comey should not have been fired. There is no pleasing these folks and no intellectual honesty among them. If Trump came out as pro-choice, Dems would try to impeach him for colluding with Planned Parenthood. Thus, their crying "Wolf" diminishes their future ability to investigate something that might be real. 

Trump planned to fire Comey even before the scathing memo about Comey was sent out from the DOJ. Trump called him a "showboat" and a "nut job."

Trump left this Inside-the-Beltway circus last week for the comparative civility of the Middle East, where more rational minds abound. While the world is a mess, the circus consumes D.C. 

Ron Hart, a libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, is a frequent guest on CNN. Contact him at or @RonaldHart on Twitter.

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